Monday, March 15, 2010

Life Lessons: Mall Edition

Here are some things that I have learned whilst shopping at the ginormous mall in my area.  I'm mostly sure that these don't only apply to me, but to you as well.

1. The thing you just bought on Saturday will be on sale for a lot cheaper come Monday.  (This means YOU Bath & Body Works.  Scent Bugs for HALF THE PRICE I JUST PAID....jerks...Of course, it could just be an online deal...then you'd have to pay for shipping.  So really, I don't think they're jerks and my room smells like heaven and puppies and clean sheets and I love Bath & Body Works.)
2.  You won't be able to find the boots/shirt/dress you want/need when you're actually looking for it--it took me like a year to find brown flat calf-high boots that I'm in love with (thanks, Kimmie K)
3.  You can divide the cost of something (shoes, DVDs, etc) by the number of times that you use it and you get it's real value.  I'm pretty sure my iPod owes me money by now.
4.  Never EVER make eye contact with the people working at the kiosks.  They just want to massage your hands, straighten your hair, or sell you a super stretchy leash for the dog you don't have.  And they always have an accent--it's to get you into your trap.  Just say "No, thank you" and high-tail it outta there, otherwise they'll follow you with those cell phone covers.
5. People walk slower on the weekends. True story.  I forgot how annoyed I get with slow walkers.  And is it necessary for you to roam left to right as you're walking so I can't pass you?  I think not...people need to be more considerate.
6. Mall shopping will make you miss the simplicity that is Target.  Target has it all.  I go to Target that's 15 minutes away waaayyy more than I go to the mall that's 3 minutes away.  Unless I'm just looking for clothes or shoes.  (PS... Am I the only one that can't spend less than $25 at Target in any given trip?)

7.  You can find awesome stuff on clearance if you have the patience to look.  Just try to go during the workweek or else the racks will be a mess and you'll want to punch the teeny-boppers that are in your store in the face.  And usually they frown upon that in public.


  1. I always find things to buy when a) I'm not looking and b) I have no money. What's up with that???

  2. I AGREE with everything. I love your method of determining actual price. I use it for shoes mostly. :) I also agree totally with how annoying slow walkers - but also those people with baby carriages that want everyone to stare at their babies. Oh! and how annoying is it when people just stop in the middle of the gd mall. They just stop and you either plow into them or have to dart and weave to remain clear. UGH almost makes the mall not worth it. almost. ~Katie

  3. PS You're pic cracks me up! loooove it! ~Katie

  4. PPS *Your - sorry for bad grammar. ~Katie

  5. Don't you hate it when a group of like 8 people are in front of you and they are all "Oh let's take a liesurely stroll through the mall and let's all walk side by side and form a wall of mall liesurely-ness so that no one can pass us." Jerks.