It's the part I always wait for when there's a new guy in my life. But this time it really caught me off guard.
Manfriend and I broke up.
Ever since he found out that he's got to have surgery on his neck (he has a herniated disk from the accident), something's been off. Something shifted with him. He became depressed. He had been since the accident, but it got worse. He's terrified of surgery. We had a couple of fights, which wasn't normal for us. Usually we're pretty calm. And I felt like he was going to cancel on me about going to the shore. He didn't. Things didn't go like I wanted on that trip.
I've never been this upset over and ending with someone. I've literally cried every day in the last week, which hasn't been a norm for me in a long time.
The short and short of it is that he's depressed, he's decided we're too different, and that we shouldn't be together. We are different, but I think that's part of why we worked. There was other stuff, but I'm not going to betray his confidences here. He thinks I can do better. And it's not just a line. I can tell that's really how he feels. Which makes me even more sad.
We still care about each other, so maybe it will work out another time, but as for now it's not going to happen. We are going to keep in touch and be friends though. Something I've never really done with an ex. First time for everything I guess.
It just sucks.
Updated: I thought I couldn't even be mad at him. Turns out I found a little anger toward him about some stuff. Not the whole thing. It is probably better that we broke up at this point. But still.