Money/Work Blahs

I'm having one of those days where my brain is going around and around in this vortex of BLAH and all I want to do is go home. I'm feeling very stuck. This feeling comes and goes for me, but today it seems especially bad. This time it's centered around money and my work situation.

A couple of weeks ago my aunt got new furniture, so I asked for the old stuff as I was planning on moving out and finding an apartment in the new year. To which my uncle says, "Why not look into buying?" So I said "why not?" and contacted my friend's mom who's a realtor. She sent her finance guy my way and though I can't buy now, told me what I need to do to get into a position to do so.

I need to reduce my fixed monthly payments-ie other loan debt like my car and student loans, make more money, and/or get a cosigner.

I refuse to get a cosigner for a mortgage. I'm not buying a place with someone and I can't ask a family member to take on that responsibility for me. It seems unfair to ask for someone to take on that kind of responsibility when they wouldn't even be living in the house.

So right now I'm waiting to hear back from the bank about whether or not I'm approved to consolidate my private student loans. If that happens (I should hear later this week), then my monthly payments will decrease and I can pay off my federal student and car loans faster, plus save for a down payment. Luckily, for a first time home buyer you only need 3.5%, so it won't take me the next 5 years to make this happen.

The make more money part is getting tricky for me. I'm really really really hating my second job right now. It's getting harder and harder justifying having the extra cash for how tired and frustrated I'm becoming. Job number one is a great company, but as a not-for-profit I know I won't be making what I'm worth here. But I'm also afraid to go somewhere else and 1) Hate a more corporate environment or 2) fail.

So that leaves me with either finding a new primary job which would enable me to quit job number two (even though it's scary) or toughing it out. I also really want to start free lancing, but between the two jobs and getting my yoga teacher certification I'm so zapped of energy I don't enough concentration to work on it.

I'll figure it out. I always do. Just had to get some of this out of my head.